time to resuscitate the ol' blog...

i had pretty much given up on this blog already. in fact, i was about to kill it and take it off my profile, since an ancient, un-updated site that's been left for dead is not a nice thing to have attached to you.

but then i checked it out (for old time's sake, hahaha) and i found that it did kinda make sense, and it struck me that i still would appreciate a place to track my own career-less progress (well, jobless, rather. i think i've got the beginnings of a career going).

so anyway. a short update of all that's gone down since april of this year, when i see my last post was.

• i've taught a grand total of two out of the seven classes that i had lined up for prosec. the first class was in la salle (where i had the most adorable little boy in my class: he was a non-reader, so he had a hard time keeping up with the others, and consequently he was always bored and doing his own thing... everytime i'd ask him if he had something to tell us, he'd reply with a resounding "nuffink!"), and the second class was in poveda (where one precocious little girl corrected another who had said she was wearing shorts by astutely observing, "she's not wearing shorts, she's wearing capri."). children are priceless. the memories were definitely worth it. next summer i think i'll have another go at it.

• i've finally taken and passed the board exam (more about this in my other blogs, seekers anonymous and the bored review).

• i've managed to find myself some residential design projects to work on (one has a sad and rather predictable story attached to it, and the other promises to be a really great house), as well as a couple of projects with another architect (interiors and master planning, what a great range).

• i've gotten the domain name for the site of the magazine i've been blind-iteming for some time now, and i'm all set to pay for hosting services once the work week begins. in a few weeks time the site will hopefully be up (i'm trying to cross my fingers while i type...).

• i've finally gone back to the office in makati to secure some sort of regular income for the coming year.

• i've been considering getting a part time job teaching (maybe art class, architecture, english as a second language?), preferably somewhere nearby, just to have the security of a regular paycheck and the structure of a regular workday (a reason to wake up early, if anything).

• i've been diligently working at being a good stage girlfriend (i like to make fun of being a "stage girlfriend", but i hope i am nothing of the sort. i just really enjoy supporting nick in his work. i have great faith in sino sikat? and public).

let's see where the blog goes from here, then. and my work too. ;)

kinarir na! free from the shackles of 9 to 5

i knew it! kids kids kids! they are sooo tiring!

well, what can i say about teaching little kids now that i've gone through one whole week of it?

ok, i'll admit... it was kinda fun. very fun, in fact, as i got to play with them and do some activities along with them (i planted monggo seeds, which i haven't done since i was in first grade!).

but it was also damn tiring! and this just at two hours every day. you start out in control, and slooowly... they take over. by the end of the week, i had kids running around pounding on the little drum we had, high pitched little voices plaintively asking "teacher betty, how do you spell...", more high pitched little voices raised to complain "hey paulo stepped on my bag!", and even more high pitched little voices giggling in delight and announcing "teacher, patrick farted!"

oy! too much! it's like being under seige.

haaaay... thank god it's friday. and i do really mean it with all my heart.

lots of classes with the little ones!

my teaching load has exploded all of a sudden! i was expecting one class on the first week of april, but now i have seven classes in all. wow. a lot to adjust to, given laid back ol' me.

slog on!!!

so tonight all my work was for training; too tired right now to review, and too tired to do anything more than post a half-hearted piece on what i did today.

i really should get myself more organized. i want to start working normal work hours already, so i can achieve more with less foot dragging.

trying to get the ball rolling again...

today i'm feeling a bit unsure of myself: i am beginning to feel classic job(-less!) insecurity.

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one of the projects i really want to do is to start a group blog that will act like an online magazine for a specific group of people in a given geographic zone... geez, writing blind items is hard! how do the tabloid writers do it?

ok, ok, i want to make a blog with articles about the area i live in. how's that? simple yet vague enough? (i tend to think that i can tell every tom, dick, and harry that comes along about my concept, but people tell me not to do so with abandon, so nobody beats me to it. the thing is, apparently some people have, so sometimes i don't know why i get so paranoid. but what the heck...)

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this little project has been in the planning stage for some time now, and a lot of really great ideas have been tossed around. however, we seem to have slowed down. so i guess that's another reason for feeling a bit unsure.

but hey, plod on, like my boyfriend always says.

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anyway, because blogger doesn't support categories by default, i looked around to find other blog platforms that did. i found them, too... but, hey, what can i say, they're just not as flexible as blogger.

the ones that fit the bill are not free, which sucks, because i really want to do this entire experiment for free, at least in the beginning.

so here i am trying to figure out how to configure the new blog to my specifications.

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in an effort to get the ball rolling again, i had coffee with a friend yesterday who knows about this project and is also excited about it. nothing like talking to someone who understands to boost your spirits. thanks to her i got off my butt and started calling on people who could help out.

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i visited another friend today to discuss her writing for the blog, and to help me do "research". her sage advice: get it out there already, and adjust as necessary.

i tend to overanalyze and as a result stop in my tracks, daunted by the sheer magnitude of the project (it only seems like a huge thing because i am easily overwhelmed).

starting now seems to be a good way to get over that.

instead of jumping the gun and mass emailing people to go to a raw (as in hilaw, hehehe; ok ok, half-baked is more appropriate) site, i think i'll first direct potential reviewers to the site so they can give instant feedback.

so that's one thing to do instead of freezing up.

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ah, another thing: i need help in the looks department. apparently being able to recognize good web design is a far cry from being able to make good web design. believe me, i've tried.

so today i met up with an old high school classmate who is doing graphic design in the advertising industry. (the meeting didn't meet the original intent, ie, someone who can do the layout and design, but we did have a good time gossiping about the people back in high school!)

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now i am back at home diligently reviewing the posts in blogger hacks to find out how to implement categories. i've tried deciphering this once, but i didn't make much progress. hopefully today, driven by need and a building sense of urgency, i'll figure it out.

Free at last!

I’m free! Free at last!

Free from the shackles of 9 to 5, from the unreasonable demands of crazy bosses, from the closed-toe shoe hell I was living.

Hello waking up late, hello Birkenstocks, and hello new boss—ME!

Uuuuhhh… OK, now what?

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Actually I’ve been free for almost a year now. It has just taken a long, long time to sink in.

I resigned from my last real day job last May.

So now that I have all this free time, I guess it would only make sense to use it, huh?

I guess. But! I am almost ashamed to say that I haven’t done much in the intervening time. However, since I refuse to be cowed by public opinion (and, more importantly, by the contrabida little voice in my head), I will let all that go and start from square one. Right here, right now.

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A rundown of the activities I would like to devote my time to:

1. My work fallbacks

Chicken that I admit I am, I have not completely severed ties to the normal working world. I have two semi-day jobs, as it were. Both are in line with what I envision for my future, so that’s OK. Both pay well enough in terms of industry standards.

The first is insurance and mutual fund sales. I’m keeping mum about this, since there are sensitive topics lurking all around. Suffice it to say that I carry on happily, and I try hold my own as a non-makulit sales person. I think many people appreciate that.

The second is part time teaching for summer enrichment programs for students. I am in training for this one, and I have high hopes for my first class in April.

So yes, I still cling to some semblance of security in the form of paid employment. But not too much.

2. My long-term career path

All this means is that I need to take and pass my board exam if I ever want to be an architect. Not something I am really looking forward to, and it shows by the amount of study time I have put into it. But a necessary evil, and something I have already put off once.

That said, I still have not begun to study in earnest, and I still do not have my clearance, or my transcript, or my diploma, or any of the other requirements. And the deadline of June 9^th looms nearer. Aaargh!

3. My newfound interests

In a word, the internet (wait, that’s two words…). Being online and being able to vent some creative energy into what I’m doing has been very helpful. Now I want to learn more and reach a wider audience with different material. I’m working for that to materialize soon!!!

4. The work of my dreams

I’ll keep this to myself for now. Baka maudlot. Hehe.

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I wonder about the number of people I know who say they hate work but continue to do it. I also wonder at the people who love their work, and I long to be one of them. This is part of that effort.

Part of my quest to be happy (chronicled in my blog, Seekers Anonymous) is finding my right livelihood. I believe that that livelihood does not need to be achieved working for somebody else.

I give myself permission to experiment.

And I give myself permission to take things one day at a time.

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I find the vernacular term “kinakarir” (as in, “kinakarir nya na ang panonood ng PBB”) very amusing. Directly translated, it means “to make a career of”. No talk of money or salary there. Whatever we make a career of in this sense, we do because we want to. We devote ourselves to something. Not everybody will understand, and many say it to jeer at the devotion in question. But we do it anyway.

So, ayan, kinarir ko na ang pagsusulat. And whatever I do now, I can treat with much the same devotion that I used to reserve for work. After all, isn’t that precisely what I freed myself to do?

the story of my quest

i on a quest to find the meaning of life. i know this will take a looong time, so in the meantime, i like to make constant stops at all the restaurants and coffeshops i can find along the way.

i chronicle my quest in my blog, seekers anonymous.

my quest has guided me from a first degree in computer science and a job in ibm as an it specialist, to a second degree in architecture, a job as a university instructor, and a couple of jobs in the architectural design and construction industry.

i have thus far settled on a happy mix of work that interests me and feeds my soul, which includes freelance design and writing, teaching, and (surprise surprise) insurance and mutual funds sales.

however, i still have a lot of stumbling blocks to get over, the main one being the residual anxiety i have about not being in the state of regular paid employment.

don't get me wrong. this is my choice. given a chance, i would not take on a 9 to 5. that said, twenty plus years of typical filipino conditioning (get good grades, get good job) is hard to cast off, no matter how strongly you may believe otherwise. much as i would like to be an independent thinker, i still look to my peers for validation, if not actively, then subconsciously. and most of my peers are climbing the corporate ladder.

then there's that thing called inertia. don't even get me started on inertia.

anyway, the point is, it's hard to strike out on your own, and it's hard to step off the work treadmill. so a little venting is required on a regular basis, and a little encouragement would be nice, and a little resolve: and seeing your words down on the screen, if not on paper, helps.